Ticking Clock

I mentioned yesterday that my grandma and grandpa moved into a nursing home last weekend. And it makes my heart very heavy. Not because they are now living under 24-hour care (that situation was much needed) but because it means that I am getting older.

I was blessed to grow up with 4 great-grandparents. My last living great-grandparent passed away earlier this year. I am 29 years old. That is almost unheard of. So when I think of grandparents I think of how lucky I was to know so many of mine. I still even have 3 living grandparents. Again, that is so uncommon it seems. But as my clock keeps ticking it makes me think more and more of death. Not of my own mortality but that of those around me. I have had multiple people I know my age and younger lose parents the past few years. That just breaks my heart. I have a total of 3 weeks of vacation and I know I would get 3 days of bereavement but that would not be enough time to pick up the pieces. My mom was so tough when her dad passed away and continued to go to work AND work on things for my upcoming wedding. I do not know how she did it but I do not think I would have the grace that she did to still handle things. I am pretty sure I would need to curl up in a ball and black out the curtains and make someone else deal with it.

I had already been thinking about this but yesterday on Facebook I saw a girl I went to high school with said that her mom had had a stroke and today she said that her mom had gotten worse and that they were taking her off the ventilators. So when you say your prayers tonight say a prayer for my friend and make sure you kiss your loved ones because you never know when their clock runs out.