My Breaking Heart

 

In 5 weeks my baby will start Kindergarten.  That’s only 33 days.  I am not a helicopter mother.  I am also not a mother who is very emotional.  But lately I have been struggling with this.  And I’m not talking just having sad thoughts that my baby is growing up but close to full on panic attacks.  This seems ridiculous and I get that.  But I am worried.  I am worried that something bad is going to happen to him.  That he isn’t going to fit in.  That he is going to hate school.  That the other kids are going to be mean to him.  That he is going to get kicked out of school.  That he is not going to be able to control his rapidly growing temper/energy.  Maybe every parent goes through this.  I don’t know. I don’t have very many friends who have kids who have started school yet.  And those that do we haven’t had this conversation.  Because it’s hard for me.  I read a blog where the mom homeschools (http://closeenoughblog.com).  And while I have always had really misguided thoughts about homeschooling (the kids are weird and blah blah blah) from the looks of it her kids are downright awesome.  And it makes me want to do that.  But at the same time I know that that is not something that would work for our family.  But seriously…how amazing would it be to know that you are able to teach your children.  That you are the person that is forming their young mind.  That you are there to witness all the awe and wonder when they learn something. 

 

So in the next few weeks I’m going to try to get some posts out about my boy.  And how he’s grown into quite a special guy.  And how even at 5 he kills me with what he picks up on ((like last night when he asked me what sex was).  Yeah…that was awkward.  Maybe going through some pictures and remembering stories and special days will help my heart get ready for what I know will be a rough day.  August 16^th…I’m looking at you.

 

Hallelujah!

 

 

Week 3 weigh in at weight watchers went really well today!  As surprised as you are to read this (since my last post it looked like I was doomed to a gain) I am surprised to be writing this.  I haven’t exercised in 2 weeks and I haven’t been tracking anything.  So needless to say this is a MAJOR victory for me.  I apparently have been keeping my portion sizes in check and I know I haven’t been snacking so hooray! 

 

Struggles: My main struggles this week has been me making cheesy/sour cream mashed potatoes and having a ridiculous amount of leftovers.  The fact that those are one of my favorite foods EVER I had to eat the leftovers.  So I had them 4 times in 4 days.  But seriously…they are delicious.

 

Victory: Of course not gaining any weight. 

 

I’m hoping that this week will be a smidge less hectic and I am finishing up my medicine so hopefully that will curb any additional poundage that might have been holding on.  I’m also hoping to get a new exercise video from the library and try something new.  I hope with the exercise and me tracking points again this week I can mark a loss next Wednesday. I need to drop a few more pounds because in 2 weeks I am taking a mini-vacation with the hubby and lord knows that I won’t be tracking while we’re gone! :)

 

 

 

 

Weight Watchers Update

 

So weigh in is on Wednesdays so we got a pass this week what with the 4^th and all.  But I have been keeping an eye to the scale and unfortunately it looks like there was a gain this past week.  Of about 2 pounds.  So even though I’m still down from where I started I’m up from where I was last week.  And I’m totally blaming it on the antibiotics that I am currently taking.  I apparently got sick and when I get sick I do it big.  This is a little long-winded but if you care to read on my health misfortunes continue.  If not…do not!  It started last Thursday with some really severe back and abdomen pain.  I chalked it up to me starting my (first) cycle since becoming pregnant with Jacoby.  (yay nursing!!)  I dealt with it all day on Thursday at work and went to Leo’s t-ball game that night and the pain was subsiding.  Friday I was fine.  I attended part 1 of my 10 year reunion.  Saturday we got up and went to the picnic which was part 2 of my reunion.  I was feeling a little run-down but fine.  I went to my friends parent’s house who have a pool and hung out and my back started to hurt.  I went home and laid on a heating pad for about an hour and then got up and got ready for the formal reunion.  I met up with my friends and I was DYING.  I lasted about 2 hours at the reunion before I had to go. I had extremely severe pain again in my abdomen and back along with hot sweats and nausea.  Let me tell ya…it was a lot of fun.  Sunday morning I went to my doctor and was diagnosed with a  kidney infection.  Awesome.  He gave me some pain pills and antibiotics and said if I wasn’t better in a few days to come back.  I made it through work on Monday even though I was doped up and still feeling crappy.  And when I woke up Tuesday still feeling like crap I decided to go back.  And lo and behold along with my kidney infection I had a cyst on my ovary.  By the time they did the sonogram it had burst (!) and so I should be feeling better they told me.  It is now Thursday and I am still not feeling great.  I still have pain in my back but I am able to push through without the pain pills.  Apparently work doesn’t think I should be taking them while dealing with money. It’s whatever!  And I am choosing to not use my sick days for myself.  Because I’m sure my kids will get sick and need me to stay home with them soon enough.  So long story long…kidney infection, cyst and my period.  All at the same time.  So 2 pounds gained in my book isn’t so terrible.  I’m hoping by next Wednesday’s weigh-in I will be back on track! Hopefully I can do a life update soon.  I am just finding my time sucked up by my boys and having fun together as a family I don’t make the time!  Hope you all are having an excellent summer and had a nice 4^th!