Monday, November 2, 2009

Forgive me father for I have Sinned...

It has been many years since my last confession. Today, my confession is about children. My confession is based around the fact that sometimes I wish I didn't have a child. But before you go scorning me because of blah blah blah let me explain. And I will say all my reasons are very selfish reasons. You know...the I wish I could sleep in on the weekends and I would have more quality time with my hubby. But also I wish I didn't have to yell at a kid because he has decided he didn't want to pick up the mess he made. Or because he decided he wanted to kick me because I wouldn't give him a piece of candy. I'm sure every parent out there has thought about how there life would be different if they didn't have children. I also would base my confession on that it is just that...a confession, a secret that I don't like to share with other people. But I have decided to use my blog as an outlet for my feelings and not just things that I want people to think about me.
The other side of my confession is this. My life would be so empty in a way I could never know if I did not have a child. I also would say that my life has changed exponentially for the better since I have had a child. I don't only think of myself when it comes to things. I know how much having a child has brightened my life and the lives of my family members. I took Leo to my grandparents house on Halloween and their faces just lit up when they saw my little Batman! I wake up in the mornings with a smile on my face because my little man is smiling in my face asking to watch cartoons in the rigging room (the living room) or that he wants his monkey (to play Play-Doh with) and me just using my knowledge to try to teach him things. Like how to be a gentleman by saying please and thank you and making sure that he is nice to the little girls in his class and that when they give him hugs not to push him away. I am also trying to figure out the best way to potty train a little boy. Who wants to stand up. Yeah, still trying on that one. So as much as I sometimes think that my life would be better without the little pitter patter of tiny feet on our wood floors I know that it would be so much worse. It's like the grass is always know when you hop over that fence it is definitely not going to be. So I think my pennance should be 2 Old McDonalds and 3 Dr. Seuss books! Do you agree?

And if you want to see other parental confessions (hopefully some more light-hearted than mine...) head over to Sprites Keeper at

Edited to add: Another reason I wish I didn't have a my bank branch got robbed. Luckily for me I was not there (I've dodged the bulled twice now...). But the man that got robbed lost his wife to breast cancer a few years ago and if the robber would have shot him (he showed the teller a gun and called it "id") his two little girls would have no parents. I would never want to leave my child without a parent because I would feel terrible. I guess technically I woudln't feel anything seeing that I would be dead, but you know.


Sprite's Keeper said...

I can't tell you how many times I've pined (briefly) for my child free days when Sprite decides 6:30 AM is the best time to practice her arias. And call out for Daddy, which can be ignored until she says she has to use the potty..
As for the bank robbery, I'm glad no one was hurt and I hope the guy gets caught.
You're linked!

Heather said...

That wasn't to bad, but yes definetly 2 old McDonalds and 3 Dr. Seuss's. LOL

Melissa said...

my mom has worked in bank for over 20 years now, she moved to the telephone customer service. in her 10 years as drive up teller, the bank was robbed 10 times.
so as a kid, my mom came home from work early almost once a year.

when the banks in the area started putting up huge bullet-proof glass, i didnt complain.

kendrasue said...

Yeah, I was trying to be tongue in cheek but I'm sure some would be too serious about it!

And as for the bank robberies...our bank has only been robbed 3 times in the last 2 years and 2 of those has been my branch. It's not in a terrible neighborhood so I don't know what the deal is. ANd that is crazy about being robbed 10 times.

Jae at Stinky Angels said...

You've got it exactly. I certainly think about what my life would be like without my baby -- wake up when I want, get back to full time work, not have to schedule my life to accommodate someone else's in such a complete way. AND I think about what my life would be like without my baby -- what would I do without her kisses, smiles, attempts to learn the abc song? It's no joke that parenthood feels like a real burden some days, but now that we know what it feels like we'd never really want to do without it.

Thanks for confessing to something that we all think about.

Laufa said...

Kids give us so much more than we miss after they are here.
Wow - robbery.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I can absolutely relate! Kids can certainly be a mixed blessing...but luckily more a blessing than anything else! :) Great spin! :)

Whoa...that bank robbery sounds scary - glad you weren't there and no one was hurt!

JHS. said...

If we were all totally honest, I think it would be clear that your feelings are perfectly normal. We've all stopped for a split second and thought, "If only I didn't have him/her." Then the blessings overtake us and we move on. For me, those moments have been in times of frustration or anger -- fleeting and quickly brushed aside. Because I know that if I didn't have my boys, my life would be very different -- much emptier.

The good news is that they grow and you can again sleep late, leave the house without them (or assuring you have a competent babysitter), and even get their assistance. My oldest has been a complete help-mate the past few months, while I was shopping for a house, in escrow, moving, and now during our settling-in phase. He has really been the young man of the house in a very inspiring and impressive sense.

Thanks for your honesty!


P.S. I am late, but will be posting my confession later today, so invite you to stop by my site then.